Posted by: tvfoh | August 12, 2008

This kid deserves an Oscar or an Emmey

I got this under the heading of “This is the funniest clip I have seen yet….” but I think the wife not listening was funnier. But this kid could be our next rubber faced impersonator, a la Jim Carrey.

Posted by: tvfoh | August 10, 2008

Pitfalls of bird feeding

My in-laws put out food for the birds and enjoy their singing.

I’ve never heard them complain about this though.

Ever worry about squirrels getting into your bird feeder?

Well, look at this. ……




Good grief,what is that line made of?

Posted by: tvfoh | August 10, 2008

Do things have you down?

Are you sad? Are you depressed? Did the Blue bird of happiness poop on your lip?

Read this. If your not laughing at the end of it, read it again.

Things Got YA Down?
Well, Then, Consider These . .
……………………….
In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same
bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical
condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do
with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the
deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts
was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.
The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am., all of the
doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for
themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding
wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the
evil spirits.
Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday
sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he
could use the vacuum cleaner.
Still Having a Bad Day????
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.
At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were
being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from
onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
///////////////////////////
Still think you are having a Bad Day????
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running
from his waist towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current,
she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two
places.
Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
/////////////////////////////
Are YA OK Now? – No?
Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs
to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.
Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
//////////////////////////////
What?? STILL having a Bad Day????
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn’t pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with ‘Return to Sender’ stamped on it. Forgetting it
was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
“Vengeance is Mine”, sayeth the Lord.

There now, Feeling Better?
GOOD!!

Posted by: tvfoh | August 6, 2008

Twisted-Humor – Drug Problem… not what ya think

This is so true. A lot of kids should obey their parents or wish they would have.

Posted by: tvfoh | August 6, 2008

Anger and frustration

I got this and it is a shame if true. The part i know isn’t true is the statement that the WWII memorial is at Arlington National Cemetery. It is located on 17th Street, between Constitution and Independence Avenues, and is flanked by the Washington Monument to the east and the Lincoln Memorial to the west.
I would like to see the memorial, I hope to go to DC in the next year.

Subject: I’m sending this with anger and frustration

Today I went to visit the new World War II Memorial in Washington , DC I got an unexpected history lesson Because I’m a baby boomer, I was one of the youngest in the crowd. Most were the age of my parents, Veterans of “the greatest war,” with their families. It was a beautiful day, and people were smiling and happy to be there. Hundreds of us milled around the memorial, reading the inspiring words of Eisenhower and Truman that are engraved there.

On the Pacific side of the memorial, a group of us gathered to read the words President Roosevelt used to announce the attack on Pearl Harbor:

Yesterday, December 7,
1941– a date which will live in infamy–the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked.

One elderly woman read the words aloud:

“With confidence in our armed forces, with the abounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph.”

But as she read, she was suddenly turned angry. “Wait a minute,” she said, “they left out the end of the quote.. They left out the most important part. Roosevelt ended the message with “so help us God.”

Her husband said, “You are probably right. We’re not supposed to say things like that now.”

“I know I’m right,” she insisted. “I remember the speech.” The two looked dismayed, shook their heads sadly and walked away.

Listening to their conversation, I thought to myself,Well, it has been over 50 years she’s probably forgotten.”

But she had not forgotten. She was right.

I went home and pulled out the book my book club is reading — “Flags of Our Fathers” by James Bradley. It’s all about the battle at Iwo Jima .
I haven’t gotten too far in the book. It’s tough to read because it’s a graphic description of the WWII battles in the Pacific.

But right there it was on page 58. Roosevelt’s speech to the nation ends in “so help us God.”

The people who edited out that part of the speech when they engraved it on the memorial could have fooled me. I was born after the war.! But they couldn’t fool the people who were there. Roosevelt’s words are engraved on
their hearts.

Now I ask: ” WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THE WORDS OF HISTORY?????????”

Send this around to your friends People need to know before everyone forgets. People today are trying to change the history of America by leaving God out of it, but the truth is, God has been a part of this nation, since the beginning. He still wants to be…and He always will be!

If you agree, pass this on. If not,

May God Bless YOU!

Posted by: tvfoh | August 5, 2008

BLOOD CLOTS/STROKE

This is good to know. Let your friends in on this

This is good stuff – read it and pass it on to all of YOUR loved ones it really could save some lives!

Blood Clots/Stroke – They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue.


I will continue to forward
this every time it comes around!

STROKE:Remember
The 1st Three Letters….S.T.R.

My nurse friend sent this and encouraged me to post it and spread the word.
I agree.

If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.
Seriously..

Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall – she assured everyone
that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) ….she said she had
just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared
a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening

Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken
to the hospital – (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke
at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps
Ingrid would be with us today. Some don’t die…. they end up in a helpless,
hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this…

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours
he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said
the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting
the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the ‘3’ steps, STR . Read
and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately,
the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe
brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke .

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple
questions:

S *Ask the individual
to SMILE.

T *Ask the person
to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)

(i.e. It is sunny out today)

R *Ask him or
her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with
ANY ONE of these tasks,
call 999/911immediatelyand describe the
symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke ——– Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is this: Ask the person to ‘stick’ out
his tongue.. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the
other,that
is also an indication of a stroke.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to
10 people; you can
bet that at least one life will be saved.

Posted by: tvfoh | August 4, 2008

When the wife doesn’t listen

When I got this, I laughed for two minutes.

Listen to your spouse when they teach you gun safety!

The underwear you save might be your own.

BTW was she afraid it would go off when she sniffed it?

Posted by: tvfoh | July 31, 2008

Psychopath Test

I ran this past my wife a year or so ago and she got it correct. Yikes

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the
bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.
No one I know has got it right Thank God!

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did
Not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream
guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his
number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer]

Answer:

She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you
answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by
a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same
mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and
answered the question correctly.

If you didn’t answer the question correctly, good for you.

If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off
my email list.

Posted by: tvfoh | July 28, 2008

Robin Williams Plan.

I agree with this idea.

I did check with snopes.com and they said it is not his plan but I like it.

Let’s get Robin Williams to run for President!!!

The Plan!

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says ‘I love New York ‘ in Arabic.

You gotta love Robin Williams……Even if he’s nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams’ plan…(Hard to argue with this logic!)

‘I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s one plan.’

1) ‘The US will apologize to the world for our ‘interference’ in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those ‘good ‘ole’ boys’, we will never ‘interfere’ again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines . They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They’re illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign ‘students’ over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a ‘D’ and it’s back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not ‘interfere.’ They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us ‘Ugly Americans’ any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it…or LEAVE…

11) And lastly bring back the manufacturing that left our country, curtail the cheap imports from all over the world and put the middle class back to work in our country.

Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan?

‘The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘you want a piece of me?’ ‘

If you agree with the above forward it to friends…If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE it!!

Posted by: tvfoh | July 26, 2008

Tornado/Flooding Season – Be Prepared!

I know its a little late for the people in Texas, but its all ways good to have a plan in case disaster strikes. If you don’t you can always do this…

Tornado/Flooding Survival Kit

Toilet Paper………………………………… check

Bud Light……………………………………. check

Keystone Ice…………………………………. check

Budweiser…………………………………. check

Red Dog…………………………………….. check

Misc. other bottles of alcohol…………………. check

Piece of plywood to float your old lady and booze on ……

check

God love dem red necks!

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